It's Called Parenting, Stupid!

I cry more today for M. JY said he wanted a visitation schedule before he moved out. So I gave him one for July. His first night would be this Thursday. He's supposed to pick her up from daycare and eventually put her to bed and I would come home later. Well JY sends me a text saying he needs to go to Rochester, MN Thursday. I'm sure for golf, but I don't ask details. It's definitely not for work, since he's off all month. He asks if the neighbor can babysit M that night. I send the following reply:

If you want to pay her yourself. Should I tell my atty you don't have time for visitation? I thought otherwise. But maybe I misunderstood how much you wanted to be involved.

Is it that hard to spend time with your kid? You're not being a babysitter! You're supposed to be a parenting. You are not spending time with her to do me any favors. Ugh!! I just want to scream! I'm sure this is a glimpse of things to come. I hoped he wouldn't be the same as he was when we were all under the same roof. But I was wrong. Poor M.

I was given good advice today by another mom who has been through the same thing over 20 years ago. She was told to keep a journal for 5 years of all the contact the father of her children had with the kids. She did and when her son was old enough, he could only get through the first 2 pages before he realized how little his father tried to be a part of their lives. I think I'm going to have to do the same thing. 5 years from now, M probably won't be ready to fully understand. But I'll have it for whenever she is ready.