Independence Day

I never thought I would have any reason to have a blog. What do I have to say that anyone else would even want to read. But I never thought I'd be going through what I'm going through now. Today I had to confront my husband (I'll call him Jerk You [JY] to preserve his anonymity) about an affair. Not being the child of divorce, I never thought I would get one. Just short of 5 years into the marriage, I never thought I was married to a cheater. Of course, I have friends who are single parents after a divorce. I know it's not a bad word. But just a word that I wouldn't hear used in the same sentence as my name.

So how did the confrontation go down? It wasn't easy. JY has tried to avoid talking or being alone with me for a little while. We had talked about going to the July 4th fireworks. We were going to go as a family. But the night before we went to see some as a family and let's just say it was a disaster for the 2 year old, Munchkin [M]. Being a firework lover that I am, I suggested we put the over-tired Munchkin to bed at the normal time and have JY's son stay home and "babysit." Worked like a charm. JY and I went to the fireworks in the neighboring city of Woodbury. Since I know where to go sort of, I suggest that I drive us. We go and watch the fireworks standing in a field. It felt like there were miles between us for the 20 minutes of the show. The whole time I'm going over in my head how to say what I want to say. I even tear up a few times thinking of my poor M. Of course getting out of the park is a nightmare. We sit in traffic for what seems like an eternity making small talk. I'm going through in my head at what point on the drive do I say it. I don't have a lot to say, but don't know if we are going to have an argument, am I going to break down and cry, am I going to get sick? How's it going to play out. I decide that I'm going to wait for the last possible moment...when we turn into the neighborhood. I have one mile to say what I want to say. I sort of stammer at the start. But then I found that inner calm and told JY that I know about his affair, I've contacted an attorney, if I need to contact a Dr. to protect myself let me know and that he and stepson have until the end of the week to leave the house. The response I get is "fine." With those words and a one word response a huge weight has been lifted. I know there will be more words, don't know what, don't know when. But there will be lots of hugs, kisses, and reassurances to M.

And M and I journey down a totally unexplored path for the two of us. Happy Independence Day! Let freedom ring!