I Guess I Was Wrong

I should have been divorced by now.  I was thinking this and my attorney said the same thing.  JY still has his jerk moments.  I have a great attorney.   Just when I'm wondering what's going on, he calls and it usually reduces my anxiety level.  

I don't know if I will be divorced sooner rather than later.  My attorney doesn't know either.  It seems that JY might be trying to get something out of the whole process, instead of walking away the way from the marriage the same as we came in.  Unfortunately, I don't have much to give.  My attorney called it, JY is a  narcissus.  He blames me for everything.  Sucks to be you JY!

Meanwhile, I went on a sort of date.  More of a meet and greet with a new guy.  He's a cutie for sure.  He is tiny as in the same height as me.  I have so much to get used to.  Dating for one.  And possibly dating someone who is as tall as I am when I'm wearing flats.  When we met, I had on my clogs so I was a good inch or two taller.  We'll see what happens!

MY is being so fun.  She is in a princess phase for sure.  I was looking for some shoes for her.  Of course, she had to have the glitter flats with the pictures of the Disney princesses on the insole.  She is so excited for Halloween to dress up like a princess.  She keeps asking if today is Halloween.

On another note.  I love our new neighborhood.  The weather has been great and we've been outside a lot.  We always meet people at the park.  Today I was outside doing yard work and met the family across the street.  Believe it or not, the husband went to the same high school that my sister and I went to in Indianapolis.  Such a small world!

The End is in Sight

I'm still not divorced, but hope to be soon.  We have the documents drawn up and sent to JY.  He finally got smart and retained an attorney.  Just waiting to find out what the "small changes" are that he wants to the decree.  I'm also hopeing to get it done quickly so JY will pay child support.  He hasn't contributed anything major.  So I've been paying daycare on my own, since July.  He's being a creep (no suprise there) and only wants to pay actual expenses, instead of the statutory child support amount until we are actually divorced.  Not going to happen!

In the meantime, I've decided to get on the dating band wagon again.  I'm back online and I love it!  I'm sure I'll go through spurts where I hate it, as I did the last time I was single.  But I so enjoy meeting new people!  Many will be duds.  However, it only takes one!  I'm not putting a lot of effort into it as far as contacting a lot of people.  I'm just too busy to focus my efforts on that right now.  I have met one guy in person and am emailing with a couple more.  The in person guy was okay.  Nothing too exciting and not really someone that I'd be friends with.  One down, who knows how many more to go!

Where has the time gone?

It's September and I haven't posted since August 8th!  What happened?  M and I moved into our new house!  I was again over-whelmed by the outpouring of support.  So many friends helped me move.  They packed, the schlepped, and they hauled all kinds of stuff from the old house to the new one.  I couldn't believe how fast the move the small stuff day went.  We were popping open the champagne after maybe 2 hours worth of hard work! 

The movers came to get the big stuff the Monday after friends moved the small stuff.  Thankfully that wasn't too long either.  In fact, the movers fixed some stuff the JY didn't put together correctly when we moved into our house.  I thought I was going to need to buy a new bed, because the one I had made all sorts of noises when you got in or out of it.  Turns out JY and friends didn't put it back together correctly.  And Sam, one of my movers, fixed it all! 

The day after the movers did their work, my dad came back from Colorado.  He was an immense help, too.  He installed all kinds of shelving for me to be able to put stuff away in the laundry room and the garage.  I look like I'm so organized when you open the laundry room door!

Dad and M also hung out for a day or two so I could get away with some girlfriends.  The two had a blast!  M was living the no nap life, since she didn't seem to "want to take a nap."  And Dad got some M time in.  He even took her to SuperTarget for pizza-one of her favorite things to do.

Yesterday I was telling my hairdresser all that has transpired with JY since I had confronted him.  She had a good observation.  She said that he was acting like a creep, because he knows what he did was wrong.  Well dude, you aren't going to bring me down!  I know what you did has nothing to do with me.  You aren't going to break my stride as you crash and burn.

We have a house. Today we did the final walk-through. There was one minor thing that we didn't notice last week. But I walked away with the keys and garage door opener. I also started moving stuff to the new place. I can't wait until M and I can start our new life in the new house! I can't wait to take her to the pool and the playground. She'll be in heaven!

You are a total Ass-hat!

Today when M and I came home from a weekend away with some of our friends, JY and his son were at the house. Apparently, JY forgot what our agreement was for division of marital property. We agreed that I would get all of the wedding gifts. And lo and behold he had a beverage cooler that we got for our wedding in the back of his pick up. Sorry Charlie! You got busted again! He tried to fight with me about it...of course I'm unsympathetic. I was moving the things in his truck to get it out myself, when he said he would get it out. Since he's an idiot, he went over the side of his truck attempting to drop the cooler to the ground and scratched his truck in the process. Ha ha! Karma is a biatch!

Tomorrow is his parenting time with M. Here's my email in response to his text about whether M is going to daycare tomorrow or not. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to mention the events of today.

"So what's with your display today? Perhaps you're having second thoughts about ending our marriage amicably and want a long drawn out battle for custody and division of marital assets & debts? That's the message that your actions today are sending. Actions speak louder than words. Clearly you've forgotten that you brought this all on yourself. You should be thanking me for having strength when you didn't. I've attached a copy of the agreement to refresh your memory that the cooler is mine....doesn't matter who gave it to us. It was a wedding gift.

Plan to return all of my boxes, including the liquor boxes that were in the garage, when you bring M back to the house tomorrow. I'd be nicer about it if you actually asked, hadn't try to pull the stunt today and had treated me with any respect. Your belongings that were scattered about the house (kitchen, bonus room, guest room) are all in the garage for your moving convenience.

I plan to send M to school tomorrow. She hasn't run a fever and hasn't thrown up since we ate lunch. If she needs to go home early, school will call you to pick her up. I put her swimsuit, swim diaper and flip flops in her school bag for swim lessons. PJs and a pull-up are in there to change into after lessons. You'll have to bring a towel for her and obviously all of your own swim stuff and towel. I should be back at the house by the time you two return from lessons or shortly thereafter. If I'm not home, put her to bed and I should be there soon. What's your parenting time plan for Wednesday, Aug 10th. I can either be at the house or away. But you two should spend your parenting time together without me around.

Regards"

Whirlwind Trip

My dad is my hero. He offered to buy a house for M and I to live in, since I won't be able to do that on my own for sometime. He arrived last Thursday and we hit the ground running. My poor 78 year-old dad went in and out of 19 houses, mostly 2-story, over 2 days. For him it was like running 2 back-to-back marathons. But he made it! Fortunately, by Monday evening we had a signed purchase agreement. We found a house that both M and I will be happy in for a long time. We can start our new lives without the weight of a 3100 square foot house with 4 acres hanging over my head! Hallelujah!!

I now have a boat load of packing to do. And I have to get the old house rented out. I have a property manager coming to get things started on Monday. Hopefully it will be rented out not long after we move to our new house.

The latter part of my dad's trip to Minnesota consisted of final touches on the transaction and me trying to negotiate with JY. First off, I'm so happy I hired an attorney to represent me. I wish JY would have done the same right away. I've been going back and forth with him trying to settle most of the issues in our divorce before filing the case. My attorney advised that we should do so to avoid costly pre-trial meetings, etc. I thought JY would agree to a settlement. I gave him a deadline of noon today and he asked to push it back to the end of today. Not sure how this will go. He said he wanted to do this amicably and not have a protracted divorce. Then in response to my offer, he starts asking for alimony, part of my pension and other things for himself. Funny that my offer was for the benefit of M and his was all about himself.

Last night I gave him my last/best offer, for which I'm awaiting a response. I told him if he didn't accept it, then it was off the table and we'd start from scratch. I'm even willing to take my offer of joint custody off the table. A judge can decide if giving custody to an adulterous, lying, over-drinking, gambling, wreckless driving father is in M's best interest or not.

Here's hoping he comes to his senses by 4:30 PM.

Moving Forward

Since JY doesn't seem to be able to bring himself to tell people who didn't know he was cheating that he's a cheater, I've begun to tell them. I can't believe the outpouring of support! I've said it before and I'll keep saying it. I'm truly humbled by the love and generosity of my friends. It makes the whole thing bearable.

Other good things are happening, too. My Dad is coming to town to help me find a new place for M and I to live. JY has no clue that we are going to move out of the house. I will tell him, but I'll wait until I know when and where we are moving. He still has many belongings at the house that he's going to have to hurry up and move. Too bad, so sad!

I got more good news today. The doctor's office called and I got a clean bill of health! Woo hoo! I'm not sure what I would have done if I had gotten other news.

Onward and upward!