All I Want For Christmas is a Divorce

It appears we are going down the road of a battle for divorce.  It may not end up that way.  We'll see.  My attorney and I felt it best to actually file for divorce to put some pressure on JY and his attorney to sign the Decree we negotiated with a few changes that they asked for.  We could still come to an agreement before a trial.  I'm not sure if that will happen or not.  I have no idea what it's worth to him. 

I have no idea if JY is even being honest with his attorney.  He sent me an email from his employer that he's no longer in training and received a schedule that he wanted.  However, in the pleadings his attorney filed it states his income as the one for the schedule he did not want.  He may have gotten the information from his employer after he signed papers with his attorney.  But I'm not so sure.  

In the meantime, I signed up to take a parenting class next week which is ordered by the court.  Fortunately, I don't have to take it with JY.  That would be a nightmare to coordinate.  He has to take one, too.  He can figure it out on his own.  We have until the end of January to complete the requirement.  I didn't want to wait, since the holidays get so busy.  There's always a chance that we settle, but I didn't want to wait until then just in case we don't.

After the parenting class, the next day on my calendar is December 2nd at 9am.  That will be my first appearance with my attorney in front of the judge for an initial case management conference.  Let the fun begin!

A New Horizon?

This was the first weekend in over a month that M wasn't with me.  I had all sorts of things planned for myself.  Who knew I would meet a fun fellow, too.  I met J M for lunch on Friday and had a blast!  It was like meeting an old friend.  In fact, he reminds me of my buddy Rick, who lives in Chicago.  We got together again Saturday and Sunday.  And we plan to see each other again on Wednesday. 

Who knows where this will go.  But at least this beginning part is fun and easy.  I had already met 2 other guys in person.  And they were nice people, but not that interesting.  I also felt they were trying to "fix" me.  The things is I don't feel "broken."  Also I felt they were pushing to meet me which is nice, but I was hoping that they could wait until I didn't have M with me or meet for lunch during the workday.  Even though relationships are hard.  I think meeting up should start out being easy.  There's plenty of hard stuff that will come with time.

It's been a long time since I felt this giddy about someone.  I'm not sure I even felt this way about JY.  Although maybe I did, but his behavior of late has erased those feelings from my memory. 

Who knows what will happen?  Could Wednesday be the last time I see JM?  I hope not.  Whatever happens it gives me hope for the future.  Dating can be fun!

I Guess I Was Wrong

I should have been divorced by now.  I was thinking this and my attorney said the same thing.  JY still has his jerk moments.  I have a great attorney.   Just when I'm wondering what's going on, he calls and it usually reduces my anxiety level.  

I don't know if I will be divorced sooner rather than later.  My attorney doesn't know either.  It seems that JY might be trying to get something out of the whole process, instead of walking away the way from the marriage the same as we came in.  Unfortunately, I don't have much to give.  My attorney called it, JY is a  narcissus.  He blames me for everything.  Sucks to be you JY!

Meanwhile, I went on a sort of date.  More of a meet and greet with a new guy.  He's a cutie for sure.  He is tiny as in the same height as me.  I have so much to get used to.  Dating for one.  And possibly dating someone who is as tall as I am when I'm wearing flats.  When we met, I had on my clogs so I was a good inch or two taller.  We'll see what happens!

MY is being so fun.  She is in a princess phase for sure.  I was looking for some shoes for her.  Of course, she had to have the glitter flats with the pictures of the Disney princesses on the insole.  She is so excited for Halloween to dress up like a princess.  She keeps asking if today is Halloween.

On another note.  I love our new neighborhood.  The weather has been great and we've been outside a lot.  We always meet people at the park.  Today I was outside doing yard work and met the family across the street.  Believe it or not, the husband went to the same high school that my sister and I went to in Indianapolis.  Such a small world!

The End is in Sight

I'm still not divorced, but hope to be soon.  We have the documents drawn up and sent to JY.  He finally got smart and retained an attorney.  Just waiting to find out what the "small changes" are that he wants to the decree.  I'm also hopeing to get it done quickly so JY will pay child support.  He hasn't contributed anything major.  So I've been paying daycare on my own, since July.  He's being a creep (no suprise there) and only wants to pay actual expenses, instead of the statutory child support amount until we are actually divorced.  Not going to happen!

In the meantime, I've decided to get on the dating band wagon again.  I'm back online and I love it!  I'm sure I'll go through spurts where I hate it, as I did the last time I was single.  But I so enjoy meeting new people!  Many will be duds.  However, it only takes one!  I'm not putting a lot of effort into it as far as contacting a lot of people.  I'm just too busy to focus my efforts on that right now.  I have met one guy in person and am emailing with a couple more.  The in person guy was okay.  Nothing too exciting and not really someone that I'd be friends with.  One down, who knows how many more to go!

Where has the time gone?

It's September and I haven't posted since August 8th!  What happened?  M and I moved into our new house!  I was again over-whelmed by the outpouring of support.  So many friends helped me move.  They packed, the schlepped, and they hauled all kinds of stuff from the old house to the new one.  I couldn't believe how fast the move the small stuff day went.  We were popping open the champagne after maybe 2 hours worth of hard work! 

The movers came to get the big stuff the Monday after friends moved the small stuff.  Thankfully that wasn't too long either.  In fact, the movers fixed some stuff the JY didn't put together correctly when we moved into our house.  I thought I was going to need to buy a new bed, because the one I had made all sorts of noises when you got in or out of it.  Turns out JY and friends didn't put it back together correctly.  And Sam, one of my movers, fixed it all! 

The day after the movers did their work, my dad came back from Colorado.  He was an immense help, too.  He installed all kinds of shelving for me to be able to put stuff away in the laundry room and the garage.  I look like I'm so organized when you open the laundry room door!

Dad and M also hung out for a day or two so I could get away with some girlfriends.  The two had a blast!  M was living the no nap life, since she didn't seem to "want to take a nap."  And Dad got some M time in.  He even took her to SuperTarget for pizza-one of her favorite things to do.

Yesterday I was telling my hairdresser all that has transpired with JY since I had confronted him.  She had a good observation.  She said that he was acting like a creep, because he knows what he did was wrong.  Well dude, you aren't going to bring me down!  I know what you did has nothing to do with me.  You aren't going to break my stride as you crash and burn.

We have a house. Today we did the final walk-through. There was one minor thing that we didn't notice last week. But I walked away with the keys and garage door opener. I also started moving stuff to the new place. I can't wait until M and I can start our new life in the new house! I can't wait to take her to the pool and the playground. She'll be in heaven!

You are a total Ass-hat!

Today when M and I came home from a weekend away with some of our friends, JY and his son were at the house. Apparently, JY forgot what our agreement was for division of marital property. We agreed that I would get all of the wedding gifts. And lo and behold he had a beverage cooler that we got for our wedding in the back of his pick up. Sorry Charlie! You got busted again! He tried to fight with me about it...of course I'm unsympathetic. I was moving the things in his truck to get it out myself, when he said he would get it out. Since he's an idiot, he went over the side of his truck attempting to drop the cooler to the ground and scratched his truck in the process. Ha ha! Karma is a biatch!

Tomorrow is his parenting time with M. Here's my email in response to his text about whether M is going to daycare tomorrow or not. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to mention the events of today.

"So what's with your display today? Perhaps you're having second thoughts about ending our marriage amicably and want a long drawn out battle for custody and division of marital assets & debts? That's the message that your actions today are sending. Actions speak louder than words. Clearly you've forgotten that you brought this all on yourself. You should be thanking me for having strength when you didn't. I've attached a copy of the agreement to refresh your memory that the cooler is mine....doesn't matter who gave it to us. It was a wedding gift.

Plan to return all of my boxes, including the liquor boxes that were in the garage, when you bring M back to the house tomorrow. I'd be nicer about it if you actually asked, hadn't try to pull the stunt today and had treated me with any respect. Your belongings that were scattered about the house (kitchen, bonus room, guest room) are all in the garage for your moving convenience.

I plan to send M to school tomorrow. She hasn't run a fever and hasn't thrown up since we ate lunch. If she needs to go home early, school will call you to pick her up. I put her swimsuit, swim diaper and flip flops in her school bag for swim lessons. PJs and a pull-up are in there to change into after lessons. You'll have to bring a towel for her and obviously all of your own swim stuff and towel. I should be back at the house by the time you two return from lessons or shortly thereafter. If I'm not home, put her to bed and I should be there soon. What's your parenting time plan for Wednesday, Aug 10th. I can either be at the house or away. But you two should spend your parenting time together without me around.

Regards"